Sunsets and memories

Source: dccatllanta

“Melanie, please stop calling me,” he said as he whined tiredly. She had called him about ten times in the last twenty minutes. 

But, what could she do, she had loved him and she felt so small. She felt like a speck of dust that he had wiped off with a rose detergent and a new but torn cloth; because that is how he has made her feel. He had made her feel like a rose, only to realize later that she had also been a thorn in his path.He had made her feel fresh, but also like some torn cloth that could be replaced. 

She had just been another girl to him and while she knew that, she still dreamt about watching the sun  drown in the reddish sky at twilight with him beside her. 

All of it was in vain. He had never seen her the way she saw him. She was no one special. There were five others whom he talked to the way he used to talk to her. Five she had known of, there could be many more. 

Her mind was racing, her breath was heavy and tears streamed through her eyes like a leaking pipe that could not be fixed even if fidgeted with. 

“I feel really disappointed, I want you to talk to me. I want you to tell me it will be alright. Just talk to me for a while please,”She begged. She needed him so bad. 

“I need to sleep. Can you please hold on to your feelings till I wake up? I will talk to you then,” he said with no trace of care and disconnected the call. 

Melanie felt like it was all her fault. She wanted to drown in her own tears. She wanted to become a dust particle and just vanish in thin air. She felt like something had pinched her heart so bad that it now had this perpetual irritating and burning sensation. She felt like she was itching everywhere but she could never get rid of that itch. She was in the state where had someone put a dish of chocolate cake in front of her, she still wouldn’t touch it.And those who knew Melanie knew that she could never let a chocolate cake go wasted.But, the worst thing was that she entirely blamed herself. She had always been reckless. She would speak whatever she wanted when she was angry and this time she had stretched it too far. Why did she have to tell him that she knew he was seeing others? Couldn’t she just have been happy with having him around? Who cares if he was talking to others too? These were thoughts that went around in her head even when she knew she had done the right thing. He had become a need and without him, she had started feeling very lonely. He was the only one who existed in the entire universe. He was the only one she needed to cheer herself up. 

Frustrated, she decided to go to sleep, but she couldn’t get herself to close her eyes. So, she decided to read her old diary. 

Source: Curve loving 

In that process, she dug up old memories, she saw herself from when she was thirteen years old. From time to time she though she had been so stupid and at times she felt like she was much sensible then. She realized how much she had loved Abba and decided to listen to those same songs again. As her heart danced through the tunes of Mamma Mia she read about people who were not a part of her life anymore and had been a need then. She saw herself in the mirror and compared the changes and the similarities she had with her younger self. She could see all her flaws, her broad nose, her narrow lips, but despite this, after a long time she still felt like she was perfect because she was herself. She realized that she had come a long way and had millions of failures as well as achievements and that she was proud of both. 

After about an hour of analyzing herself, she finally decided to take a break. She sat near the window and she saw the sunset. The same sunset she loved, with the reddish sky and guess what? It still felt just as beautiful and she felt full. The itch was gone. She had fallen in love again. But this time, it was with herself. 

Source: Flickr